New Year's Meditation

It's almost 2016. While contemplating the end of the old year and the arrival of a new one, I came up with a meditation/visualization. Here it is: Pretend you are about to sell your home and move into a new one. Before you leave your old home, you walk through each room one last time. In each room, stop for a moment and reflect on the good, positive memories that were created in that room. Focus only on the positive memories... Leave the discordant memories behind. Savour the positive memories. Once you've gone through each and every room, once you've collected all the positive memories, take them with you as you walk through the front door. Close the door of the old year, don't look back. Walk through the threshold into the New Year filled with magic, wonder and unlimited possibilities. Happy New Year. Have a magical 2016. Love, Paula

Holiday Season

I'm reposting this because I need to remember my own words and my own advise. I thought maybe some of you could use it too. Love, Paula

As I said in my last blog two weeks ago, "It's that time of year again".  Only this time I'm referring to the busyness of the season.  There's shopping, wrapping, meal planning, baking, Christmas cards, decorating, parties.  The list goes on and on.

As I'm writing this, my husband is at the gym.  I should be there too, but I have things I want to get done around the house.  Instead I decided to first take this time out to write and BREATHE.  I have to remind myself to do that.  I didn't last week.  That's why there was no blog.

The activities of the holiday season can be exciting and fun - especially if they're accomplished with love in your heart, not obligation.  That's how it should be.  Sometimes though, we get so wrapped up in things we perceive we have to do, that we feel overwhelmed and burdened, not joy filled.  When that happens, we have to just STOP EVERYTHING, take a moment to ourselves, breathe, and figure out what's really important... what's really necessary.  The people that love us don't want us to end up sick for the holidays because we worked so hard and didn't take care of ourselves.  I think the best gift we can give to our loved ones is for us to be healthy and  happy.

You know that "to do" list you have in your purse, "smart phone," table, desk, or where ever it might be?  Take it out RIGHT NOW and place yourself right at the very top of that list.  Carve out 10 minutes to an hour each day for yourself.  Read, relax. watch a movie, meditate, window shop, take a walk or do whatever else makes you happy and rejuvenates your spirit.  After that you'll be better able to tackle your "obligations" filled with peace, joy and love.  You'll be happier and so will everyone you come in contact with.  Give it a try so you and your loved ones
can enjoy a happy holiday season.

Love,  Paula

Time

Several weeks ago Elizabeth Gilbert - author of "Eat, Pray, Love" - was a guest on The Dr. Oz Show.  She was telling her story about how she became an author.  She always wanted to write a book, but it seemed that she "never had the time".  She was talking to a friend about her time issue.  Her friend was sympathetic, but then asked her what she did the night before.  She answered, "I watched The Sopranos on tv."  Her friend then mentioned that she did, in fact, have the time to write.  She just chose to watch tv instead.

Elizabeth Gilbert then asked the audience, "What are you willing to give up to get what you SAY you want?  There's always enough time.  Everything else is just an excuse."

Well, she might as well have reached through the tv and slapped me.  Her words jarred me out of my complacency.  There were so many things I wanted to do, but "just didn't have the time".  She made me aware of the fact that I DO have the time.  I'm just choosing to do something else with it.

So that very day I decided to be more cognizant of how I was spending my time.  Where I live we have definite change of seasons.  In the mid to late fall we start putting summer things away.  For example, all our patio furniture and our chiminea need to be put away in our shed for the winter.  But I kept telling my husband I wanted to have one more fire.  Also, my son wanted me to write a new "about" for this blog site.  He'd ask me if I started it yet and I always said, "It's been so busy around here.  I just haven't had the time."

Well, the very day that I saw Elizabeth Gilbert on The Dr. Oz Show, I went out on the patio, built a fire in the chiminea, got a tablet and pen, and sat by the fire writing the first draft of my new "About" for the blog site.  I've since written a second draft and am waiting to see if I need to write a third.

Watching THAT TV show, THAT day, with THAT guest was no accident.  It was the "kick in the pants" that I needed to motivate me.  Now every time I think I don't have time for something, I remember Elizabeth Gilbert's words.  I know I DO have time.  No excuses.  I'm just choosing to do something else with it.

Love, Paula

PS - I wrote this blog while on a flight to Tucson.  There's ALWAYS time to do the things you want to do.

I Love Fall

How can you not love fall?  The colors are vivid.  The air is crisp and clear.  The sun is not as high in the sky, so it casts different shadows.  Things that you see every day just look different... beautiful!  There's football, apples, cider, grapes, and fall flowers.  The leaves on the trees turn from green to shades of reds, oranges and yellows.  Seriously, what's not to love?!

It occurred to me the other day that as I am enjoying this wonderful time of year, not everyone has the opportunity to experience fall.  There are places in the world - many places - that never get to see the changes of the seasons at all.  They may have their own version such as rainy season, warmer or cooler seasons, things like that.  But to NEVER experience fall.....

I love the cold, short days of winter with the beautiful white snow on the ground.  It's a great time to cuddle up with a good book or movie and have hot chocolate, hot coffee, or hot tea.  It's fun to make snowmen or have a snowball fight with the grandkids.

I love the spring when the snow melts after a long winter.  It starts getting warmer.  Flowers sprout and bloom and new life starts emerging all around.

I love the long, hot days of summer.  There's swimming, boating, catching up with the neighbors, picnics, parties, fireworks, festivals, relaxation, vacations and so much more.

Then there's fall.  It's obviously my favorite time of year.  For me, it makes going through all the other seasons worth it.  The beauty fulls my soul and makes me come alive.

All I can say is that I'm grateful that I live where I do.  I love the definate changes of seasons.  But most of all... I LOVE FALL!

Love,  Paula

Blood Moon

As I'm sure you all know, last night was a Blood Moon, Super Moon, Harvest Moon and full moon.  It was also a total lunar eclipse.  The eclipse itself was interesting to watch.  Now add the red, blood moon, amazing!

As I reflected about what I had just experienced, what struck me was how this event connected people.  My "facebook friends" were posting pictures and comments.  My nephew in Maryland, my niece in Illinois, my son and his girlfriend in California, friends in Honduras were all looking at the same event at the same time.  People all over the world were looking at the same moon at the exact same time.  World wide, we were All looking to the same sky.  We were ALL enjoying the same  celestial gift.  In spite of our perceived differences, for a magical moment in time, we were all united.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could do that all the time?  Wouldn't it be like heaven on earth if we could all focus on the ways that we're alike instead of the ways we're different?  Is that even possible for us - the human race - to do?  I don't know the answer to that.  I just know that I'll alwasys treasure that wonderful, magical moment in time when we did.

Love,  Paula  

Please!

The other evening as I was closing the curtains at dusk, I saw the most gorgeous sunset.  It took my breath away.  There were beautiful shades of color from pinks and peach to deep reds and oranges.  I stepped outside so I could see it better and just absorb the beauty.  As I was standing outside, I noticed several cars driving around and people just walking by.  I wondered if the even SAW this magnificient gift that was given freely for everyone to enjoy.  It appeared that they didn't see it.  That made me sad.  I know I must sound like a broken record, but I just want to remind everyone to PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE look around you each and every day.  There is so much beauty out there.  And it's free.  It doesn't matter if you are a billionare or don't have a penny in your pocket:  the beauty if for EVERYONE!  Please take time to see it, enjoy it, appreciate it, and be grateful for it.  I promise you, it will enrich your life.

Love,  Paula

Wayne Dyer

This past week the world lost a bright light, Wayne Dyer.  But did we really lose him?  I don't think so.  He lives on in his family, books, teachings and videos.  I was fortunate to have the opportunity to attend one of his seminars several years ago at Lily Dale, N. Y.  What an amazing day that was!

In his honor I would like to share 10 of his most inspiring quotes.  Enjoy!

1.  "Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change."

2.  "You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with."

3.  "When you have the choice between being right and being kind, just choose kind."

4.  "Practice being the kind of person you wish to attract."

5.  "Anything you really want you can achieve if you really go after it."

6.  "You cannot always control what goes on outside.  But you can always control what goes on inside."

7.  "If you believe it will work out, you'll see opportunities.  If you believe it won't work out, you'll see obsticles."

8.  "You have everything you need for complete peace and total happiness right now."

9.  "Circumstances do not make a man, they reveal him."

10. "You are not stuck where you are unless you decide to be."

Love,  Paula

F-E-A-R

Fear is wasted energy.  I tell people that all the time.  The energy expended entertaining fear would be better spent putting toward something useful.


Often we fear things simply because we don't know about them or understand them.  Once we face the fear, we often find out there was nothing to fear in the first place.


I'll give you one small example.  Once I'm home and "in for the night", the darkness can be fear inducing.  I might hear noises and imagine all sorts of things lurking in the night.  Sometimes I'll go around the house to make sure all my doors and windows are closed and locked.  I'm entertaining fear.  Once I realize that, I boldly walk to the door, step outside and enjoy the night air, moon and stars.  What seemed foreboding turns out to be pleasant, relaxing and even friendly.


Facing your fear takes away it's power over you.  It's freeing and liberating.  I read that fear has two meanings:


1.  Forget Everything And Run


or


2.  Face Everything And Rise


The choice is yours!


Love,  Paula

Friendships

I've been reminded lately of my blog, "A Reason, A Season, A Lifetime" posted November 10, 2014.  I've recently kind of lost touch with a couple of friends.  As I mentioned in that previous blog, I'm a "keep in touch" kind of person. 


One of the friends went on vacation.  Before she left she said we'd get together when she got back.  That was four months ago.  It was a similar situation with the other friend.  I reached out to both of them several times and was assured that I hadn't done anything to offend them.  I started feeling bad...  even hurt.  What was the matter?  Why didn't they want to stay in touch? 


Last week I remembered that people enter your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.  There was my answer.  I thought these women were "lifetime" friends.  Apparently they were "season" friends.  This revelation really helped me to feel better.  I no longer feel hurt.  I'll miss our friendships, but I'll have many fond memories.  I can now lovingly let go knowing that we've each fulfilled what ever the purpose of our relationship was. 


I wanted to post this as a reminder to all of you.  If you see or feel a friendship slipping away, maybe that person was in your life for a reason or a season, NOT a lifetime,  It's okay.  Lovingly remember what you learned from that person and what that person learned from you.  Then let it go.  That will open up a space in your life for new people and new adventures.  Know that everything happens for a reason and everything is as it should be. 


Love,  Paula

Appreciation

We have been having the most incredible sunsets lately.  Our sunsets are always beautiful, but the last couple of nights... well, there are just no words to describe them.  The other night at dusk, I was getting ready to close the curtains in my living room.  When I looked outside, the view took my breath away.  The whole northern sky - not just tthe north west - was lit up with different shades of orange.  It was a deep red-orange right where the sun was setting.  The rest of the northern sky was bright orange.  I couldn't take my eyes off of it.  I went outside and just sat there, drinking it all in.  There was such a peace and serenity.  It was a meditation without meditating.  What a moving experience.

When most of the color went away, I went back in the house.  My husband was out, but when he came home he asked if I had seen the moon and planets.  I hadn't so I went back outside.  There was a crescent moon and - I'm told - the planets Jupiter and Venus.  Again, I just sat there to drink in their beauty and absorb their energy.

The day time is equally beautiful.  My flower gardens are thriving.  There are different shades of pinks, purples, yellows, greens, whites, and oranges surrounding my home.  The sights and the scents just fill my being with awe and wonder.  Now add the singing birds, the buzzing bees, and the lightening bugs and it's magical.

Mother Nature is benevolent.  She freely gives us these sights and sounds and magic.  I'm ready to explode with gratitude.  I hope you all take the time to see, feel, enjoy and appreciate all that has been given to us.

Love,  Paula

Protection

Have you ever had that experience of talking with or being with someone and when you part, you are exhausted?  I think we all have at one time or another.  When that happens, we've unknowingly allowed someone to "take" our energy.

As I've mentioned many times before, I am a Reiki Master Teacher.  While working with a student a couple of weeks ago, the subject of protection came up.  As healers we open ourselves up, so we have to protect ourselves.  This is an energy protection.  We don't want to give our energy to our clients.  We also don't want to take on any of our clients' energies.  My student was having a problem with taking on her client's energy of sadness.  With each therapy session, my student was feeling more and more sadness.  She forgot to protect herself.

It occurred to me that maybe we should ALL protect ourselves every day.  We never know where or with whom we'll find ourselves.  We could easily be giving away our energy or taking on someone else's energy without even knowing it.

I would suggest starting each day by visualizing yourself inside a white or translucent bubble.  It's over you, under you, in front of you,  in back of you, and on both sides of you.  You're totally enveloped by this bubble.  Nothing discordant can get inside your bubble and your energy stays in there with you.  Please feel free to try this visualization.  At the end of the day, see if you feel better and have more energy.  It doesn't cost anything and may just help.

Love,  Paula

"Lean On Me"

People these days seem to be fixated on independence.  Our society has put such value on being independent from as early in life as possible to as late in life as possible.  My questions are, "What's wrong with being inter dependant?  What EXACTLY is independence?

Webster's Dictionary defines independence as:
a) Freedom from outside control OR support
b) The time when a country or region gains political freedom from outside control

Can anyone REALLY live independently?  Can anyone REALLY live without outside support?  If you think you can, you're kidding yourself.  We depend on the gas company to provide our homes with gas.  We depend on the electric company to provide our homes with electricity.  We depend on our stores to have groceries, clothes, toiletries, or whatever when ever we want them.  Even if we decide to live as a hermit in the woods somewhere, we depend on nature to provide for us - fish, animals, seeds, fruits from trees and bushes, trees for shelter - you get the idea.  There really is no such thing as total independence.

We are all inter dependent.  What's wrong with that?  What's wrong with me helping you, and you helping me?  Who decided that needing help and support wasn't a good thing?

Now I'm not talking about always receiving without ever giving.  I've talked about that in previous blogs.  If you don't give AND receive, the energy gets stuck and that promotes unbalance and possibly illness.  We should give and receive equally.  That's what keeps the energy moving.

The other day while driving to work, the song "Lean On Me" was on the radio.  It was perfect.  It put into words what I was feeling:

"Lean on me when you're not strong.  And I'll be your friend.  I'll help you carry on.  For, it won't be long 'til I'm gonna need somebody to lean on."  ...and there's nothing wrong with that!

Love,  Paula

Utopia (Even More Antidote)

While on my way to work last week, I witnessed an accident.  This poor, dear, elderly woman apparently "blacked out" while driving.  Her foot must have been on the gas since her car was going VERY fast through a parking lot.  I slowed down because if I kept my speed, she would have hit my car when she came out of the parking lot.  Instead, she hit a bricked pillar attached to the store who's parking lot she was racing through.

Besides witnessing the accident, I also witnessed the goodness of people.  I pulled over, but immediately several cars and trucks also pulled over.  They weren't just curiosity seekers.  People were genuinely concerned and were trying to help this elderly lady while waiting for emergency vehicles.  There was fluid leaking from the car.  You never know if it's water, oil, or gas.  But these people, who didn't know this woman, had no concerns for their own safety.  Their only concern was to help another human being.

I STRONGLY believe in the goodness of humanity.  Contrary to what you hear on the news, I believe that people are basically good.

I introduced a concept several years ago that I called "The Antidote" (2/20/12).  My idea is that there would be a news program that ONLY reported positive news stories - such as the one I mentioned above.  This news station would be the antidote to all the negative stories spewing from all the other media.  I did a follow-up blog called "More Antidote" dated 2/25/13.

Well, the idea hasn't taken off.  Apparently people enjoy negativity.  THAT"S what sells.  What a shame.  Thoughts and words are powerful.  What you set your thoughts on and what you talk about magnifies those things and draws more of that into your life.  I think it would be wonderful to draw more positive things - NOT negative.  When I see selfless acts such as the one I witnessed the other day, it reinforces my belief in the goodness of humanity.

What if every single person on the planet chose goodness and positivity?  What if we stopped watching, reading, listening to or talking about ALL the negativity out there so that we didn't draw more of that into our lives AND our world?  What do you suppose would happen?  Peace?  Joy?  Happiness?  I understand that it sounds like utopia, but what if it actually worked?!!!

I personally choose to focus on the positive so that I can draw more of that into my life.  What are you choosing for your life?

Love,  Paula

More About Spring

The other day I did my annual ride through The Erie Cemetery.  It's a beautiful, old, 75 acre cemetary right in the heart of the city.  I grew up a block away from it and spent a lot of my youth walking around it.  The cemetery was my special place.  It was where I went to be alone with my thoughts - to meditate.  It was my get-away.  Living in the middle of the city, I was grateful to have such a refuge.  Although anyone can go there at any time, most people didn't have such a wonderful place so easily accessible to them.  I was lucky and I KNEW it.

I no longer live close to the cemetery, but I make it a point to drive by several times in the spring watching the Dog Wood trees.  When they're in full bloom, they are breath taking!  There are many of them disbursed throughout the cemetery.  But there is one stretch of road that is lined on both sides with these gorgeous pink blossomed trees...HEAVEN!  When you walk or drive through them going south, they're beautiful.  But when you turn around and go through them heading north... well, there are just no words to describe them.  They truly take my breath away.

The other day while driving through them in full bloom, they touched my soul.  My heart swelled and I actually cried with gratitude for the beauty that was surrounding me.

In last week's blog I wrote about "Spring Wisdom".  I talked about how spring not only represented birth and youth, but could also mean rebirth.  I find it interesting and kind of ironic that one of my favorite places to experience that rebirth is in a cemetery.  But thinking about it again, it's perfect!

Love,  Paula

Spring Wisdom

In my blog "Winter Wisdom" dated 1/19/12, I talked about one of the wisdoms that my dad imparted to me.  He talked about watching nature to understand life:  Spring = birth and youth, Summer = adult life, Autumn = old age, and Winter = death.  He talked about how nature shows us the beauty in each stage of life.

While I am marveling at the absolute beauty that is all around me this glorious spring season, it occurred to me that spring can mean more than birth - it can also mean rebirth.  The flowers that are blossoming in my garden aren't the same flowers that were here last year, but they are springing fourth from the same bulbs and bushes.  The leaves on the trees aren't the same leaves, but they are emerging from the same trees.  Last year's flowers and leaves died.  They're gone.  But the life force that supported them remains and now supports NEW life.  Do you suppose this lesson can be about spirituality?  Imagine that those flowers and leaves that die represent our human body dying.  But our spirit, soul, essence, life force (trees, bulbs) live on.  They not only live on, but they rebirth us into our NEW lives. just as the trees and bulbs rebirth new flowers and leaves.

Staying Positive

"Being negative only makes a difficutl journey more difficult.  You may be given a cactus, but you don't have to sit on it." - Wake Up World

I consider myself to be a fairly positive person.  Oh, don't get me wrong, I'm human, I have my negative moments.  But the more I practice consciousness, the quicker I come back to being positive. Anyone can do it.  Like everything else, it just takes practice.

While interacting with people around me, I'm often amazed at the negativity in the world.  The thing is, it's a choice.  You can't always control the situations that appear in your life, but you can always control how you choose to respond to those situations...ALWAYS!  If you're negative, that's your choice.  If you're positive, that's also your choice.  If someone tells a joke for example, we can choose to be insulted, indignant, take it personally, or just accept it for what it was meant to be - a joke - and laugh.  It's our choice.

People don't seem to understand how powerful they are.  They don't know how powerful their thoughts and words are.  We make choices every single minute of every single day.  So choose consciously and wisely.  Simply replace any negative thoughts with positive ones - and watch how your life changes.

Love,  Paula

Dream Part 5 - Help Dreams

In my blog "Dreams" dated April 14, 2014, I mentioned four types of dreams that I have experienced.  During this past week I was reminded of a fifth type of dream.  I'll call it the "Help" dream.  I only remember experiencing this type of dream twice.  The first time was probably 10 to 15 years ago, which is why I forgot about it.  The second time was this past week.  In this type of dream, someone - or several people - come to you for help.  They can be someone you know or people that you don't know.  You may not even know what their problem or situation is, you just know that they need your help.  It's almost like a "Visit" dream except it's intense and has a very specific purpose.



In my first "Help" dream, I saw a family in a car.  It felt like they had been in an accident although I didn't actually see that.  I just knew they needed help.  I couldn't even discern what kind of help they needed, but I knew it was important to help them NOW!  In my dream state I began to pray for them. I woke up while I was praying and continued to pray while I was awake.  I finally remembered to ask angels to go and help them.  THEN I was able to go back to sleep
.

Do I know if these people or this situation was real or not?  I'll probably never know.  But it was so urgent in my dream state that I felt it was important to send prayer.  I don't feel praying is ever wasted. If there wasn't a family in a car somewhere that might be needing prayer, I'm certain that SOMEWHERE someone needed prayers and angelic help and I sent that to them.



In my most recent "Help" dream, someone I know seemed to be in a "dark" place.  Not a physical dark place, more emotionally dark.  It felt like depression... maybe even thoughts of suicide.  In the dream state, I was fighting to keep holding onto this person's hand.  I kept repeating and repeating, "I love you, I love you, I love you."  I woke up repeating, "I love you", so while I was awake I kept it up.

Now, since this was someone I know, I contacted this person the next day to make sure they were alright.  They were just fine.  So I don't know if we were preventing something from happening in the future.  Or maybe this person was a surrogate and we were BOTH helping someone else.  It really doesn't matter.  You don't need to understand.  What matters is that you follow your guidane and do the work.  When you're awake and someone needs your help, you help them.  Remember that you can do the same thing in your dreams.

Love,  Paula





PS.  I was at a class and another attendee asked if we could pray for her grandson before we all left.  She didn't give us any details except his name.  We stood in a circle and prayed for him.  After the class was over I asked her how old her grandson was and if there was depression involved.  He happened to be the person in my dream's age and yes, depression was an issue.  Now I'm SURE the person in my dream was a surrogate for this young man and that was the person the "Help" dream was about.

Dreams Part 3 - Lessons

On April 21, 2014 I posted a blog called "Dreams".  In it I described the four types of dreams that I have experienced.  The following week, April 28, 2014 in a blog called "Visit Dreams", I wrote about my most recent "visit" dream.

I have never before even considered sharing any of my "lesson" dreams.  I always felt that they were specific to me - my lessons.  But at this time I'm feeling led to share.  Recently I've been having a barrage of lesson dreams.  They're all different but seem to be trying to teach me the same two lessons.  If you remember, I mentioned that lesson dreams are usually kind of weird.  I think that's to get our attention.  I'll try to give you a condensed version of one of my lesson dreams to show you what I'm talking about.

DREAM:  There were two queen sized beds in my bedroom on opposite sides of the room facing each other.  There was a squirrel on the bed that I sleep in.  I sat on the other bed watching it.  I didn't want it to get off the bed and not know where it was.  Even though they're cute, they are wild animals and they can be destructive in a house.  The squirrel acted like the bed was a cage and wasn't looking like it was going to go anywhere.  I wouldn't necessarily call what I was feeling fear, but it was definitely concern.    It was getting late and I wanted to go to bed.  My husband was in another room so I got up to get him so he could get the squirrel out of the bed.  At that moment the squirrel seemed agitated and looked like it was going to jump off the bed and run.  There wasn't time to get my husband.  I was going to have to do this myself.  I had to get the squirrel off the bed and out of the house.  Then a funny thing happened.  As I approached the bed, the squirrel turned into a cute, fluffy kitten.

LESSON:  If I face my fears (squirrel), I'll probably find out that there was really nothing there to fear (kitten).

I've had five "lesson" dreams in the last week.  I wanted to share one of them so you might better understand what I'm talking about.

I keep a dream journal so that I can look back on my dreams and try to understand what lessons I'm being taught,  I would encourage everyone to do the same.  You may be thinking you're just having weird dreams.  Maybe you ate something that caused it.  But in fact, they may be lessons and you should be paying attention.  By keeping a journal you can look back on your dreams.  You may find a pattern that will help you understand what your lessons are.  At the very least, it's fun!  But it can also be helpful on your life's journey.

Right now my lessons are:  1. Face my fears and, 2. Look for opportunities where I least expect them.

What are YOUR lessons?

Love,  Paula

The Dress

I'm sure you've all heard about and seen "the dress";  Black & Blue versus White & Gold.  I'm sure most of you are also sick of hearing about it too.  Sorry... I'm going to bring it up again, but for different reasons.

The day it was all over the news and internet, my husband was watching TV while I was in the kitchen doing dishes.  When the picture was on TV he called me in and asked me what color the dress was.  I immediately answered Blue and Black.  He saw Gold and White.

What occurred to me through this process is that we must all see the world around us differently.  Not just in our attitudes, beliefs and perceptions, but we really see things differently.  We walk around assuming that we're all seeing the same thing.  This makes the point that we aren't.  My husband made the comment that if he and I saw the same robbery, we'd probably give the police totally different descriptions of the robbers.

This whole thing was a real eye-opener for me.  It has made me look at things differently.  We need to be more understanding and compassionate toward other people.  Although we think we know what they are seeing, we now know that we truly have no idea.  As I mentioned in my blog "It's All A Matter Of Perspective" dated April 7, 2014, we all see things differently... it's all a matter of perspective.  Instead of arguing because we KNOW we're right, we should try to be more understanding.  I'm sure the other person or people are sure they're right too.  If we can open our minds and hearts, maybe we can begin to see things from they're perspective as well as ours.  Maybe we'll realize that although we're right, they can be right too.  I think it's an exercise worth trying.  And all this came about because of... The Dress!

Love,  Paula

Happy Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day is fast approaching.  It brings up different emotions in different people for different reasons.

Some people are excited and filled with expectations:  dinner, candy, flowers, jewelry, or some other wonderful expression of love.  Some people get depressed because they don't have anyone.  They feel lonely.

I'm fortunate to have a very loving husband and family.  I don't really pay attention to the fact of Valentine's Day.  I don't need ONE day to show my love to the special people in my life and they don't need ONE special day to show me their love.  We show each other in big and small ways EVERY day.  We're there for each other always in ALL WAYS.  Basically, I have Valentine's Day every day and I am grateful.

For those of you that aren't as fortunate as I am - if you're alone - let me make some suggestions.  First and foremost... LOVE YOURSELF.  Be your own Valentine.  Pamper yourself.  Take yourself to dinner or make yourself a special candlelit dinner.  Take yourself to a movie.  Schedule a massage.  Get your hair or nails done.  Enjoy a bubble bath.  Take a nap.  Do something special  just for you!!!

No matter which group you belong to, no matter how you choose to celebrate or not celebrate, remember... if we love ourselves, we all have love.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Love,  Paula

A Good Day

The other day everyone I came in contact with was complaining about the weather.  It was snowing and around 2 degrees.  People were either complaining about the snow, the cold, or both.  It's winter in the northeastern United States people.  What do you expect... really?!!!  Winter, cold and snow come every year.  It's certainly not unexpected.

When I went outside that day, the beauty took my breath away.  When it's very cold, the snow kind of crystalizes and looks like diamonds scattered across the landscape.  Absolutely beautiful!  The sun was out and all you could see were sparkles everywhere.  It was unbelievable!!!  My whole world was like one big Norman Rockwell Christmas card.  How could anyone complain when we are surrounded by such incredible beauty?

I read, "The only difference between a good day and a bad day is your attitude."  That really says it all, doesn't it?  We always have a choice to make.  Every single minute of every single day we have the opportunity to choose to be happy, or sad, or angry, or upset, or excited.  IT'S A CHOICE... OUR CHOICE.    It has absolutely nothing to do with what's going on around us.  It only has to do with the choice we make about how we respond to what's going on around us.

There are gifts for us everywhere.  Look for them.  See them.  Choose them.

That day I had a cold.  I had a headache.  It was cold outside.  It was snowing.  It was sunny.  It was beautiful. I choose to have a good day!

Love,  Paula

Dignity

A couple of weeks ago my husband and I watched the movie "Nebraska".  To me it was a study on the dynamics of a family with aging parents.  The mother/wife thought her husband was losing his mind and wanted him institutionalized.  One of the two sons was in total agreement with his mother.  The other son wasn't sure.

Through much interaction, a journey, and FINALLY some conversation, we find out that the father/husband is not necessarily losing his mind.  He has just given up.  He has a nagging wife, apathetic children and no hope of anything changing.  All he wanted out of life was to help people, retrieve a compressor he loaned to a friend, and to own a new truck.  With these things he felt people would treat him with dignity.

I believe that's what we all want... to be treated with dignity and respect.  That's what we want, but somehow we seem to forget to give that to others... especially the elderly.  Even if a person has dementia or alzheimer's, they still deserve to be treated with dignity.

My dad was in a nursing home for several months before he left this world.  He had dementia.  The aides had a difficult time feeding him.  I was usually there at dinner time so they asked if I could help.  The only thing I did differently was that I didn't force him to eat and I always let it be his decision if he wanted to try to feed himself or if he wanted me to help him.  I allowed him to keep his dignity.

My point in telling these stories is to remind us all to treat everyone with respect and dignity.  Every human being deserves that.  If we desire that for ourselves, we HAVE to give it to others.  And we need to remember that one day, probably sooner than we want to admit, we're going to be that elderly person that wants to be able to keep our dignity.

Love, Paula

Respect!

When visiting some hospice patients the other day, I felt so bad.  There was a husband and wife in the same nursing home, but in separate rooms.  These dear people were both in their 90s.  They've been together for many, many years.  They chose to spend their lives together.  They are obviously choosing to leave this earth at the same time since they are both hospice patients.  Why then can't they do it together?  Why can't they be in the same room?  It just doesn't seem right
.

In a perfect world they would be able to live out their lives in their own home - together.  Since they have to be in a nursing home, they should at least be able to be in the same room.  And how about pushing the beds together too so they know the other one is there.



There just needs to be more heart.  Dying and/or being elderly isn't a disease, it's a natural progression of life.  We are all going to die sometime.  If we're lucky, it will be when we are elderly.  Wouldn't you want to be treated with understanding and compassion?  Wouldn't you still want to be treated like a human being?  Wouldn't you like to feel that you mattered?  Of course you would.  I think these people would too.


I believe that most people that are taking care of the elderly are doing the best they can.  I also know that they have rules and laws that they have to abide by in order to receive compensation from government institutions.  But even with these restrictions, I think it could be done so much better.

It wouldn't take much to make this happen.  Most nursing homes already have two beds in each room.  It wouldn't take much effort to move one of these people into the other person's room.  We need to remember that we're ALL part of the same human family.  Let's start treating everyone - even the elderly and dying - with the same love, compassion, understanding and respect that we desire for ourselves and our families.



Love,  Paula

Change Is Good!

This year as my husband and I were taking down Christmas, it occurred to me how much things have changed.

When I was young, Christmas didn't start until a couple of weeks before the holiday.  We'd cut down the tree, get it home, and take at least a week to decorate it.  Once it was done, we'd clean and decorate the rest of the house.  Sometimes we wouldn't be ready until Christmas Eve.  It didn't matter though because Christmas celebrations didn't start until Christmas.  The week between Christmas and New Years you got company and you were company.  Everyone visited everyone.  There were always cookies, nuts, fruit, ham, potato salad, pop, beer, coffee and highballs.  It was so much fun and I hated to see it end.  I would be so sad when it was time to put it all away and go back to school.

I don't know exactly when it happened, but eventually Christmas started on Thanksgiving.  Trees are up and everything is decorated inside and out.  All parties and visiting seem to happen before the holidays.  By Christmas day, everything is pretty much over, not just starting.  But when I took things down, I'd still get kind of sad.  And when I would drive by a house that still had their tree up or lights on outside I'd feel melancholy.

For the last couple of years though, it's been totally different.  I'm so ready by the day after Christmas to take it down and put it away.  I have to force myself to wait until at least New Year's Day.  And once it is down, I'm not the least bit sad.  When I see others with trees and decorations up, I think to myself how lucky I am that I'm done.

So why have things changed so much?  Is it the fact that I'm older?  Is it the changing energies?  Is it a natural progression?  I can't answer these questions.  I just don't know.  But what I do know is that it's okay.  Things are constantly changing and evolving and that's okay.  That's the way it's supposed to be.  Change is good.

Love,  Paula