The Most Important Relationship

Last week I wrote about relationships. But the one relationship I left out was the most important one of all... your relationship with yourself.
It seems like the most important relationship is the one we ignore the most. We spend less time on taking care of ourselves than we do taking care of others. We've been taught that it's selfish to put ourselves first. In reality, that's exactly what we all SHOULD be doing. If you don't "feed" yourself, you will have nothing to give to anyone else. You need to eat and exercise so you have physical strength. You need to read, play games, have intellectual and philosophical discussions to exercise and feed your brain. You should pray, meditate, be in nature to feed and exercise your soul. THEN you will be ready and able to be of service to others without depleting yourself. Even in an airplane they tell you that in case of emergency put YOUR oxygen mask on first, THEN help others.

We also seem to have a hard time forgiving ourselves. It's easier to forgive others for hurts or perceived hurts, but we just can't seem to extend that same kindness to ourselves. It's like we can't forgive ourselves for being human. As humans, we're going to make mistakes. That's inevitable. But after making the mistakes and after asking for forgiveness from those we may have hurt, we HAVE to forgive ourselves.

The most important lesson I tried to teach my children while they were growing up is this: You can run away from anyone or everyone. You can be a hermit in the forest and never see another human being the rest of your life. But the one person you can't run away from is yourself. No matter where you go, YOU will be there with YOU. So make sure that's someone you like.

Love, Paula

Relationships

Relationships take work. It doesn't matter what kind of relationship -- romantic, sibling, friend, mother, father, son, daughter, co-worker -- it takes work.


When relationships are new, we only see the good and wonderful things about that person. But as the relationship matures, we tend to become less infatuated. Now the work begins.

We have to accept people for who they ARE, not who we THOUGHT they were, just as we want them to accept us. We have to accept their faults and work around them, just as we want them to accept ours. Don't try to change anyone because the truth is, the only person you can change is yourself. Don't dwell on the things about them that irritate you. That will only magnify them - make them seem bigger than they really are. Keep looking for their good points. Everyone has them. Remember what attracted you to that person in the first place in the case of a romantic or friendship relationship. Look for everyone's good qualities and amplify THAT. If you slip up -- and being human, you probably will -- just pick yourself up and start over again.

Like I said, it takes work and it's not always easy. But if it's a relationship you want to hang onto, it will be worth the effort.

Love, Paula

Evolution

As I mentioned in an earlier blog, I attended a spiritual fair in the Cleveland area several weeks ago to see James Twyman. I wrote about the concept of spiriting through problems instead of spiriting around them.


There was another topic that really spoke to me. I was fortunate to be able to attend a small group reception before the actual talk. There were only six of us and James Twyman. It was like sitting in your home with friends having a discussion. Someone asked, "If we're supposed to be evolving, why are so many awful things happening around the world and why does it seem like things are getting worse instead of better?"

His answer surprised me. He said that most people imagine evolution as a slow, steady climb - like a long straight line from the bottom to the top. He said that is not the way it goes at all. It's like the human race is moving toward a brick wall. The closer they get, the more momentum they build (problems, discord) until they hit it. Then there's no place to go but up. So... we jump up. That's how we reach a new plateau in evolution.

I hope he's right. There is so much strife in our country and around the world. His explanation of evolution gives me hope... hope for humanity and the planet. It feels like the momentum is reaching it's peak. I'm seeing the brick wall.

Ready?..... JUMP!!!

Love, Paula

Gratitude

There are so many things we have to be grateful for. Most of us have homes, families, extended families, friends, food, sources of income, our health. I'm sure everyone could add many more things to their own personal list. Hopefully you take the time to express your gratitude to your God, Universe, Creator Being, All That Is, or whatever you call your Source. By being grateful, REALLY grateful, you attract more of those wonderful things into your life.

But there are so many other things that we almost never even think about that we should also be grateful for. Our heart beats without us even thinking about it. We see, we hear, we talk, we walk and most of us never give it a thought. Our blood flows, we breathe, our bowels and kidneys work, our wounds heal and we hardly notice. There's a whole universe working inside of us twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. We are an amazing machine and most of us never even take notice. It seems like we only notice when things AREN'T working, not when they ARE.

Here's my idea. If gratitude helps attract more of what you're grateful for, how about if we start being grateful for ALL of it. Be grateful for our wonderful bodies and all the systems that we know about, and the ones we don't know about, that keep us healthy and living without having to think about it. What if we were totally grateful? What if we started thinking about all those things we now take for granted? What if we started giving thanks for all of it? MAYBE it would help us to start being healthier... start feeling better. It's just an idea. It certainly wouldn't take much effort. I think it's worth trying. I've already started. How about you?

Love, Paula

Aging

In talking to a friend the other night, the subject of age came up. This particular friend had a problem turning 60. Being 60 was okay, but telling people she was 60 was hard for her to do.

I have another friend who had the same problem with 70. She doesn't mind being 70, but when she has to tell people she's 70, she feels old and feels like other people think she's old.

It made me stop and think about age and aging. So far I've been good with every age I've acquired. I'm actually embracing my aging process. I really enjoy being a crone. I'm honored to share any wisdom I may have with younger people that ask. I'm excited to watch them question and explore at such young ages. They're doing things in their 20s and 30s that I didn't even think of until I was in my late 40s and 50s. It makes me so hopeful for the future.

I'm having so much fun. Life is treating me well. I don't know how I'll deal with age in the future, but for now all I can say is age is no big deal for me. It's just a number and LIFE IS GOOD!!!

Love, Paula